Have you ever thought about how much or how little faith you have? It isn’t something easily quantified. There isn’t a unit of measure available to us other than the mustard seed. Here is what is written in Matthew 17:20
He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
I went to the grocery store and looked at mustard seeds, they are tiny. I wondered if my faith was that tiny, or actually, if it could be any smaller. Physically looking at a mustard seed didn’t really help me to quantify my faith. It is really difficult to measure a spiritual factor with physical measures. So, I still wondered how to know how much faith I have. Maybe mountains…
Moving mountains sounds sort of dangerous. There are a lot of people that might get hurt if I attempt to change the earth’s geography. What if my faith runs out mid-move? I could flatten a whole town! No, moving mountains isn’t going to be it for me.
I finally asked God, “How much faith do I have?” His answer was interesting. He sent me to my journals. I started leafing through some of my old writings.
Did I really struggle with THAT?
Oh, I am so glad THAT is no longer an issue.
Why did I wonder if I could get through THAT?
Page by page, year by year, I leafed through where my heart had been and what my mind was thinking. Why did God send me here, to read my own story? Because this was where I could revisit myself as my faith grew. The things I thought I would never make it through, I did, or WE did. What I saw wasn’t really the story of me, it was the story of us, God and I. It was the story of how moment by moment, and year by year, God took my outstretched hand and led me through moments and days and years. What I read was the story of the times when I thought my faith was weak, until I looked into the eyes of Christ. Until I grabbed onto the hand of my Father.
So how much faith do I have? As much as I need as long as I am looking into the eyes of Christ. The truth is we really don’t have any faith and can’t manufacture faith, unless we are willing to stop looking into our own hearts and start looking at Christ. That is where our faith is found.